On this day, ten years ago, I was preparing to get married to the kindest, sweetest, smartest man I had ever met. 10 years! I can hardly believe it’s been that long already. Time has flown by.
A lot has transpired in the span of ten years.
It hasn’t always been an easy journey.
Not only has there been a lot of adjusting to married life, but I’ve had to adjust to life in the country and on a farm. We also became parents and are always learning about the relationships and intricacies that go hand in hand with parenting. We’re continually striving to be the best parents we can and not mess up our kid.
10 years already!
I remember ten years ago today, I was with my favourite ladies and getting ready to celebrate love and commitment, surrounded by those we love most. I was excited and had that fluttery butterflies in the stomach feeling one has when something big is about to happen and you’re anticipating it. My heart pounded, and I knew I was about to begin a whole new and exciting chapter with my husband.
The rest of the day was pretty much a blur.
Everything happened so quickly! In the end there was a big party and everyone enjoyed themselves.
For the most part, life is still a party. It’s filled with all our favourite people, creating memories, and celebrating. It’s also been filled with hiccups and bumps, trials and tribulations, and highs and lows.
My husband has had ten years to get used to my fiery personality. I’m very vocal in communicating. He internalizes more and isn’t very communicative. I’m a doer – I like getting things done NOW instead of putting things off until later. He likes taking his time and being practical. I’m extremely social. He never used to be, but has become at times more social than I am!
Not only do we have to learn how to live with these kinds of differences and work with them, but there are other differences that we’ve had to adjust to as well. I’m city and he’s country. My parents’ backgrounds are Filipino and Caribbean-Chinese. His background is Anglo-Saxon and his parents were both born in Canada.
I used to think that “love is all you need” and that differences do not matter.
In theory, those are true, I guess. However, in real life, you need more than just love. You need time, understanding, compassion, flexibility, communication, empathy, and the willingness to bend a little and make concessions. We’re still learning and it’s been ten years!
We have cultural differences, religious differences (him: United Church, me: Roman Catholic), and our upbringings are completely different. Our childhood experiences are completely opposite. Somehow, with all these differences, even when challenging, our relationship works. Most of the time.
I say most of the time, and I’m being realistic. Relationships are a work in progress. Marriages are a work in progress.
I never thought that those differences mattered, but they actually do. They form the people we become and the way we think about the world, life, love, and family. They influence our thoughts and what we deem our priorities are. For example, my priority is family. I was raised to believe that family comes first. Always. Hubby’s priority is family…and of course, the farm. I understand that farming is not just a job one does. It’s a lifestyle. We do everything for the farm. We work FOR the farm. The farm does not work for US. Meaning, everything we do is for the farm.
That has been a big adjustment for me. I value things like spending Sundays together as a family or eating dinner as a family. It doesn’t always happen, but it’s getting better. When it’s calving season, planting season, or haying season, we cannot put our lives on hold and just enjoy time together. The farm and the animals need us.
Differences do matter, but not in a negative way. Differences allow us to learn to understand and open our minds. Differences are good. They help us to be more accepting, tolerant, flexible, empathetic…if we allow them to.
It’s an amazing life, but with some costs.
Ten years ago, I envisioned this fairy tale wedding (which it was) and a life of wedded bliss. There have been amazing moments, but I cannot discount the not so amazing moments. This is just part of life and being realistic. No marriage is perfect and every relationship requires effort. I still cannot believe that ten years have flown by already!
Happy Anniversary, Hubby!
Thank you for 10 interesting and never dull years of marriage. It’s been quite the adventure and every day is full of learning. Thank you for being my best friend and for also being so patient, understanding, and all kinds of awesome! Thanks for being a great father to our daughter. We are blessed. 6/17/2006 wedding on the beach at Carter Bay will always be one of my most memorable days.