April showers bring May flowers.
Mother’s Day.
One would think that May would be a happy time because the temperature is beginning to warm up, the flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, and everything comes to life again in May. May used to be one of my favourite months. Now, May is a hard month for me though. It’s a time when I find myself dealing with grief.
I never knew why May was such a difficult time for me, until I realized that May 15th marks the anniversary of my grandmother’s death. May 15th, 2012 was one of the saddest days for our family. Little One and I traveled to the Philippines to spend with my grandmother, not knowing that it would be my grandmother’s final few weeks. I’m thankful to have been able to bring my then three-year old to the Philippines to be with my grandmother.
A few years have passed since my grandmother’s death, and I thought things would get easier. Every now and then, I think of her and really miss her. 
With Hubby’s accident on Valentine’s Day, and him still recovering, the past few months have been a bit overwhelming. I’ve been preoccupied with how the farm will go on if Hubby is not able to farm for much longer. Will we eventually have to sell the farm? Can we manage to maintain the status quo? What has to change? Will Hubby be okay? Will he heal and recover, and be able to do the things he once was able to do?
To make things a little more challenging emotionally, my beloved canine companion, Chance passed away last week (on May 12th). Chance has been by my side for nearly fourteen years. He’s been there with me through so many ups and downs in life. We’ve been through a lot together.
It’s been a rough go.
Then I remember that everyone is going through challenges of their own. People are resilient. Hearts get broken, and hearts get mended. Sad events take place in life and it’s okay to feel sad and to grieve.
Over the past few years, we’ve lost several loved ones. I’m at an age where my friends and I have grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents who are aging and who are experiencing health issues that come with aging. We’ve had quite a few loved ones who have or have had cancer. We’ve lost some loved ones to cancer. This said, the two deaths that have been hardest on Little One have been the death of my grandmother and the death of Chance.
I’ve been trying to find articles and tips on how to help my daughter with the loss of her beloved pup. Chance would always walk with Little One. He was her protector and just wanted to be with her all the time. He was such an amazing and gentle dog.
Now that I recognize why May has been a difficult month for me these past few years (and now even more so with the loss of Chance this May), I’m going to try to make May a happy month. Yes, I’m sad and my chest hurts because my heart is broken, but I’m going to make a concentrated effort to make May a time for celebrating the happy times with my grandmother and my faithful pup. Perhaps I can help Little One focus on the incredible memories, the love, and the funny moments we had with our loved ones, we can focus less on the fact that we miss them so much. It’s okay to miss them, but I’d love to help Little One remember the happy moments.
There are certainly a lot of happy moments!
First, I’m so sorry you lost your Grandmother. I definitely know that pain. I watched my niece & nephews (12, 11 & 7) leave for the funeral home about an hour ago, to attend the funeral of their Grandfather (my sister-in-law’s father.) He died after a 6 month fight with cancer at just 56, & I hate that they are now beginning to understand that loss, too. No matter what your age, that loss is just terrible.
Hoping you are well. Grief can catch you in the most unexpected of moments! I was on a drive along the waterfront and was positive I saw my mom………..she passed away in 2009. I don’t think it ever really goes away, but comes a bit more manageable.
I fully comprehend! December is hard for me, because this is the month that my father and mother were born (they died over 30 years ago when I was in my 20’s, and I am an only child). My father’s birthday was December 19th and my mother’s was December 24th (Christmas Eve). You have such a lovely blog and your photos are beautiful! Warm greetings from Montreal, Canada.
Thank you, Linda! So sorry to hear about your parents. Sending hugs. By the way, I’m a Montreal girl too! I moved to Ontario in the late 90s, but grew up in Montreal and lived their until my early 20s!
I feel your pain hun. For me Christmas is a hard time because I lost my mom March 2012 but she was a Christmas baby & we used to celebrate her Birthday during the Christmas holidays. not only that, we lost our dog 3 weeks after my mom passed away, so my then 5yr old had to deal with death 2 times in 3 weeks & sometimes he still has a hard time dealing with it. Christmas is not the same without my mom but we try to get by and make the best of it. We live on memories and the very happy moments, thats all we can do. If you ever need to talk, let me know, I will be here to listen.
Hugs, Margo! Sending lots of love your way! xoxo
Hugs, sweetie. It has been a rough time for you guys. Hang in there and know you have people around always if you need to chat.
Thank you, Janie. Your words are always comforting. Thanks for your friendship.
No wonder May is such a tough month for you, and it would be totally understandable if May doesn’t end up being a happy month.
Thanks, Victoria! May’s always tough for me, but we’re now in June and things are looking sunny again 🙂
Dealing with grief is difficult issue. There is some grief that I do not think we accept easily not that any grief is easy. It is such a personal issue. I try to remember the happy times but that does not always work. I think it is a day by day attempt. One thing I know for sure is that it is best to talk about it never keep it inside and locked up.
So true, Cathy! My mother-in-law once told me that it’s okay to cry. Tears wash away the pain. Remember the good times 🙂 It’s okay to miss loved ones once they have died, but remember the good times.