“Shhhh! DON’T CRY!”
“STOP CRYING!”
“Don’t be a baby!”
Those are probably words most of us grew up hearing. Many of us were probably raised with the notion that it wasn’t okay to cry. Perhaps we were even told to “be strong” or not show our emotions. In some cultures, showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
Today, I was on my usual morning walk, but instead of walking south on the highway, for some reason, I turned left and walked north. I ended up at my mother-in-law’s door, thinking that maybe she had something I could help her with like putting things away for her or getting something from her cupboard for her. Really, I had no purpose for the visit. I just somehow ended up at her door.
Then it hit me.
Tears.
We talked about everything that had transpired over the past few weeks and months. The losses, the sorrows, the health scares, the ailments, and some funny and happy events sprinkled in between.
I told her that yesterday when I ran errands, I got into my car and drove. All of a sudden, I was overcome with emotion and could not stop crying. I thought of friends and loved ones we have lost in the past year to either cancer, heart attack or old age. I was upset over the injustice of loved ones having failing health or being diagnosed with fatal diseases. I was emotional and upset about the likelihood that Little One will never have a sibling. I am turning forty a week before Christmas and have discovered some not-so-great news about my own health. If something happens to me, I don’t want Little One to be alone.
I apologized for the tears and then she stopped me.
“My dear, it’s OKAY to cry! Tears wash away the sadness.”
Those were the words I needed to hear at that moment.
We then talked about how there are no certainties in life and how we need to live life to the fullest. We need to focus on spending time with those important to us NOW while they are alive and how we need to cut back on things that add unnecessary stress in our lives. We talked about how we cannot worry about things we have control over, but how we can do the best we can for the things that are in our control.
My friend, Sarah‘s words from our conversation the other day really stuck with me:
A good cry cleanses the soul. Somehow take care of yourself because the stresses of the illness in your family are catching up to your own health. It’s all in God’s hands, so pray for healing and peace and may God be your portion. He’ll weather you through the storm even when it seems impossible.
I thought of my young daughter and how each time she cries, I tell her to stop crying. At six years of age, she’s sensitive and emotional. Why do we scold people for crying? Crying is natural. It’s the shedding of tears in response to an emotional state. There is nothing bad or wrong about crying.
From now on, if Little One’s sad, I’m going to encourage her to let it out and cry. I will tell her that it’s okay to cry and that tears wash away the sadness. Maybe I’ll even remember to tell myself that.
heck no i cry all the time lol. it’s an excellent release of built up emotions sometimes, and it’s so cleansing.
great post
Hugs Christine! I hope it helped! Sometimes a good cry is an awesome way to release all that built up emotion and feel better! If you ever need a should to cry on, I’m always here for you
I teach my kids it is OK to cry. I think we should all do it sometimes and sometimes for no reason at all!! lol
You are so right, Cheryl! It’s a great thing to teach our kids.
I’ve always hated and felt resentful for how quickly my body will spurt out tears! But, more and more, I just try to let them have their time and then I move on. (I’m sorry to hear about your sadness and health issues. No fun. Thinking of you and hopeful for a good outcome.)
Thanks, my friend. That really means a lot, Julie! xoxox
Seems like a very “God” moment with your MIL. I’m glad He lead you there. xoxo
Thanks, Sarah! Indeed, it was.
a good cry always makes me feel better personally. nothing wrong with showing emotions (i always tell my hubby that )
So true, Kristen! So true!
A good cry is good for the soul. Sometimes it can make you feel better 🙂
Agreed! Sometimes you’ve just got to let it all out.
Aw…I just wanna reach through my computer and give you a hug. I wish I could be there to cry with you because tears *are* cathartic. Thinking of you…let me know if you want to talk.
Thanks, my friend! You’re awesome, Lisa! Hopefully soon we can arrange to meet up, Long overdue.
Christine, oh what a time for you and your family. Life is just so much sometimes. When i’ve gone through times like this my friends have encouraged me to cry, too. It is good for us and everyone near us. Listen carefully to yourself and your loved ones. Hugs…Kate
Kate, your words really stuck with me when I read them two days ago (only now had the chance to reply). Thank you.
It is okay. It’s authentic and helps process. After a week or so of feeling stress building up, I cried at work today, perhaps not the best timing, but it never seems to be. It feels so much better after, especially when you have good friends to help you through it. Have you and Little One seen Inside Out yet? It’s such a fantastic movie.
This post made me cry. Hope everything is alright, Christine. Thinking of you. And yes, it is okay to cry!
Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts, Janie. Let’s catch up soon. xo
Let it all out hun. Sometimes a good cry is the best medicine. Wish I could be there to give you a shoulder to lean and cry on. Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough patch. But I know, more than anyone else, you’re surrounded by love. Xoxo
Thanks, Maya! Miss you, my friend! I’ll gladly accept hugs from you when I see you next. Hopefully that will be sooner than later! xo
Oh Christine, I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been having such a rough time! Hugs to you, lady. I’m here to talk any time! And you are so right – it IS ok to cry. I need to tell myself that.
Amanda, isn’t it crazy how it took over 30 years for us to learn that it’s okay to cry? Let’s plan for a virtual coffee date soon. xo
The Cure tells me that Boys Don’t Cry
mrdisco, thanks for making me smile!
I’m sorry to hear you are going through some tough times this year. Big hugs to you! Once after I had a miscarriage I was chatting with a friend about it and said “it’s okay” because sometimes we do that for other people, you know. And I loved that she stopped me and said. “no it’s not, it sucks, and it’s okay to say it sucks”
That really struck me and I’ve carried it with me over the years. Some things suck. They really do.
Oh, Jennifer! I had no idea! Actually, one of the things I was lamenting was the fact that we went through a miscarriage as well. You’re right. It does suck. Sometimes I think trying to act strong and put a smile on our faces when inside really hurts just sucks. Sometimes you’ve just got to let it out.
It’s a lovely post, but, I am a little concerned about your sentence where you mention your own health. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Love you!
We all need a good cry every so often. Christine my friend, I am sorry for the pain you’ve been dealing with. Big hugs to you and it sounds like you have some real life angels giving you advice and a shoulder to cry on.
Okay you made me cry. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family with whatever you are going through.
Thank you, Donna. It’s been a rough go lately. So much going on right now. When it rains, it pours!
This is such a beautiful post! Encouraging tears is a good thing in most cases, I’ve found! Thank you for sharing this with us!
I love this story and it so relates to everyone. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment, Margo! I appreciate it! xo