Mommy Guilt: I was THAT Mom

Yes, I was THAT Mom.  I refused to spend any time away from my child.  Even when I knew I was in dire need of some “me time“, I just couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t set time aside to just relax and do things for myself.  I suppose I just grew up with the mentality that motherhood is all encompassing and all consuming, and a mother never had “me time”.

After all, my mother never needed “me time”.  My Mom did it all. She worked, she took care of three kids, she cooked, she cleaned, she helped us with our homework, she read us bedtime stories and tucked us in at night.  She did it all. Never once did she complain that she was tired or needed any help.

I used to wonder how parents could go on vacation without their kids!  Hubby and I have never gone away together without Little One.  I don’t know why.  I just don’t want to go anywhere without her.  We travel as a family.

Friends and family have told us that they go on vacation as a couple every now and then so they can spend quality time together as a couple and make things not be all about the kids all the time.

I knew I needed “me time”, but always felt Mommy guilt and didn’t want to take time for myself. In the past few years, I’ve been away a lot for work purposes, it’s been just that. Work.  Thanks to my family for taking care of Little One when I’m away.  Lola and Grampy have been so amazing to care for her since Hubby’s really busy on the farm.

If I was ever away from Little One, it was because I had to be away.  Work, meetings, work trips, funerals…Those were the only times I was away from my little girl.  I’d be away and I’d feel Mommy guilt for being away.

Fast forward to the present year where working full-time, helping my husband run our farm, taking care of all things Little One related, the household, the cooking, the cleaning…and I am totally wiped out.  To be honest, I was feeling like I needed a little break.  I needed a break from work, the farm, the never-ending household chores, and lists of things to do.  All I needed was a few days of R & R.  The question remained — How?

My friend turned 40 and asked if I wanted to go on a girls’ trip with her.  Truth be told, I haven’t gone on a girls’ trip since before I got married! I often wondered what it would be like to go to Cuba or Mexico with the girls.  Weekend in Vegas or New Orleans? A shopping spree in NYC? That would be fun!

To be honest, though the idea of a Girls’ Get-Away sounded enticing, I never really wanted to be away from Little One.  I couldn’t bear to be without my little girl for too long. That would be too much.  The funny thing is that though she can sometimes be exhausting and I get overwhelmed with the amount of work there is to do here all the time, I miss Little One terribly when I am away from her.

My friend at Summer Bloom Cottage told me that we have to promise each other that we will enjoy our seven days away and not feel guilty.

This is what I’m looking forward to for the next week:

• Eating proper seafood!!! Lobster, mussels…so excited!
• Sight-seeing and visiting the Red Sands Shore
• Victoria-by-the-Sea
• Exploring Anne’s house & parading through Anne’s hometown (I’m really excited about the Anne of Green Gables Museum and Avonlea Village)
• Anne & Gilbert, the musical
• A few days relaxing at Dalvay by the Sea

Though I know I am going to have a fabulous time, I still cannot help but feel a tinge of guilt for leaving my husband and daughter for a week.  I feel a bit of anxiety just thinking of all the housework that will be waiting for me when I return from my “relaxing vacation”.  For now, I’ll try to forget about the mountains of laundry, the piles of dishes in the sink, and  the living room in disarray.  This is going to be a great trip.

Do you suffer from Mommy Guilt too? What do you do to deal with the guilt?