I need her more than she needs me.
I came to that realization just the other day when my friend’s wife sat with me at her kitchen table and asked, “So, what are you going to do? Are you sending [Little One] home with [Hubby] for the week while you stay in Toronto?”
I couldn’t answer her simple question. I broke down and cried my face off. It was that “ugly cry” too. You know, like the face Helen was making in the car when she and Annie were looking for Lillian in the movie “Bridesmaids”? Except, Helen couldn’t possibly pull off an ugly crying face. She’s gorgeous even when crying. I digress.
I couldn’t even answer the simple question of “What will you be doing with your 4 year old while you’re working in Toronto?”
I immediately thought, “Great. My college/university buddy (whom I’ve known since we were 17) and is wife are going to think I’m completely and utterly bazonkers!” Well, he’s known me for 20 years, so he already knows what I’m like. His poor wife is going to think I’m an emotional, hormonal, weepy mess though. I’ve just had a lot to digest in the past few weeks though. Does that count for anything?
Traveling, meetings, events, and WeDay (so excited for that!) would not normally be an issue. This time, however, childcare is a challenge. If I sent Little One back to the Island, somehow we could have made it work with finding someone to take care of her. It would be a challenge, but somehow it could have happened. I think.
For some reason, it just seemed easier to keep her out of school and with me for the week though. I know, taking my kid out of school in the second week of Senior Kindergarten? What am I thinking, right?
In case you’re wondering, YES, she’s 4 and yes, she knows what the Pride flag is! She also knows that love comes in all shapes, sizes, colours, and forms.
Mommy Confessions time…
I’ve come to the conclusion that I really do need to be with Little One more than she needs to be with me. In fact, I need her more than she needs me. Does that sound weird?
I don’t normally post super personal blog posts anymore, but I suppose the events that have taken place in the past few weeks have made me realize how much family really is the priority right now. Not trying to be cryptic or anything. I may divulge more info when the time is right for me though.
I’m sad that I have decided to sell my Blissdom ticket and have to send a few bloggers to a few upcoming events on my behalf. Part of me feels like I’ll be missing out on a lot of fun and some potential work opportunities, but family comes first. Ultimately, I’ll have to be super selective with what I choose to partake in.
When you see a lady doing the ugly crying face thing, remember that everyone is fighting a battle you may not know about. Be kind 🙂
Because I hate feeling alone with some of my Mommy Confessions, do YOU have any surprising Mommy Confessions you’d like to share?
Go on, help a sister out! Honestly, tell me I’m not the only one who feels like sometimes (just sometimes) I don’t have it all together.