Rushing in the morning on an already hazy, humid
mosquito filled morning, I could feel myself getting tense. Little One was dawdling – stopping every few feet to pick up a white-headed dandelion (which she calls “giant wish flowers”). I scooped her up, put her in her car seat, hopped into the driver’s seat, and drove up our lane way.
Little One: Mine too! Mine too! Mine too! (screaming, tears rolling down her cheeks)
Me: Oh, dear. Now what?!
Little One: (pulling at her seat belt straps) My seat belt! Mine too!!
At this moment I feel like the world’s most horrible Mom. I never forget to buckle her into her car seat. NEVER!
It was one of those days.
Above photo taken a few months ago. Please excuse the helmet. She takes car safety very seriously. Either that, or she thinks my driving is absolutely horrible.
We started singing the entire score for Gilbert & Sullivan’s The Gondoliers. Little One mentioned that she was thirsty.
Me: We left your sippy cup at ThatCoolTeacherMom‘s house. She’s going to return it when she sees us next.
Little One: Mommy, where’s my Princess p3nis?
Me: (in shock) Pardon me? Your what?
Little One: My. Princess. P3nis!
Me: Ohhhh! Your Princess THERMOS! (this is the second day in a row that she’s called her Thermos a p3nis)
Little One: Why? Why is it not a p3nis?
Me: Honey, you know what a p3nis is. That stainless steel thing that keeps your drinks hot or cold is called a Thermos.
Little One: (laughing) What is a p3nis?
Me: Honey, you remember! What do girls have that boys don’t have?
Little One: A vag!na.
Me: Boys have a ______?
Little One: P3nis!
Me: That’s right.
Little One: What’s a vag!na for?
(Urgh. She’s only three years old. I think I’ll just stick with the non-$exual functions of this part of the anatomy for now)
Me: Well, a vag!na is a part of the female body and you pee from there.
Little One: What’s a p3nis for?
Me: (Haha! Oh, boy. Trouble!) Males – boys and men have them and when they pee, pee comes from there.
Little One: Mommy, and [insert Little One’s real name here], and Lola have VAG!NAS!
Me: Yes. That’s right, honey.
Little One: Daddy and [insert LO’s friend’s little brother’s name here] and Grampy have P3NISES!
Me: That’s correct. Oh! What does Chance (our dog) have?
Little One: (quietly thinking and then laughing) I don’t know!
Me: Chance is a boy! He has a…
Little One: P3NIS!
Oh, the questions!
Little One is three years old and I explain things as openly and honestly to her in a way I feel is age-appropriate. I know some people do not feel that proper anatomical terms are appropriate for children, but I do not believe calling girl parts “cupcake”, “flower”, “hooha”, or “peach” and boy parts “turtle”, “birdie”, “lizard”, or “wee wee” appropriate. Neither way is right or wrong…or better or worse. For me, I’d just like Little One to know the proper names of things.
We’ve got bodily functions down. Let’s hope the $ex questions don’t come for another few years.