I came home from the hospital a lot earlier than normal because I think the exhaustion of having just had a baby (very prematurely!), having to deal with her being in the NICU and having to commute over an hour to and an hour from the hospital every day and be there all day has finally hit.
As if that weren’t enough to deal with, Hubby and I were talking on the phone and I discovered some terrible news. At first, I was really excited that Hubby will be coming to Toronto to be with the baby and me this weekend. He commented on how I sound like I’m in much better spirits today.
…Then I asked him a question I didn’t want to know the answer to. My dad e-mailed me to tell me that he discovered something gruesome behind our house when he went to visit my husband. My beloved feline baby, Trouble had gotten stuck on the barb wire fence (his collar got snagged and he probably struggled to free himself) and died. I asked Hubby if it was true and he hesitated to answer at first.
I cried and cried when he confirmed the news. For people who don’t have pets, it may not seem like a big deal. It may even seem silly to some people if they hear that a grown woman would cry because her cat died. My pets have been my first babies and hearing the news was pretty traumatic.
Trouble was indeed a trouble maker, but he was a really loving and affectionate cuddle monster. I’m really sorry that he had to pass away the way he did. I will really miss our cuddle time. He was definitely the most affectionate cat I’ve ever had. We’ll miss you, Trouble. Thank you for bringing love and joy into our house and in our hearts. I will always remember the way you snuggled up on my lap and purred really loudly every chance you got. You always loved to be held.
The crazy thing is that I don’t know if I can ever have pets again. If something were to happen to Spike or Chance, I think I’d have to never ever get another pet again. The pain and heartbreak are just too much to endure. I honestly don’t think I’m strong enough to deal with things like this.