Everyone has been telling me that having a preemie in the NICU is a roller coaster ride. There will be lots of ups and downs. The good days will be good and the bad days will sometimes be very bad. I never expected this because our little one has been doing so amazingly well so far!
This morning I was greeted with wonderful news from the nurses. Our little one gained some weight and is now 1000g! She lost some weight last week but started gaining back this week and is now just past her delivery weight. Her feed was also increased from 1 cc breast milk every 4 hrs to 1cc breast milk every 2 hrs…and then 2 cc every 2 hrs and now 3 cc every 2hrs!!! Her full feed is 13 cc and once she gets to 13 cc breast milk every 2 hrs, they will take her NG tube out!!!
I won’t lie. I’m having a pretty rough time. I am drained and exhausted. Between pumping every 2 hrs, waking up at 5 get ready to head to the hospital for 7:45AM and leaving in the evenings, I am drained. I don’t want to leave her side though. When I’m not with her I think of her, so it’s better if I’m just with her.
I think the hardest thing I’m going through right now is having to do this by myself. Listening to all the medical jargon and trying to process everything is a bit overwhelming. Plus, the little one had a bad day today. The nurses tell me that occasionally she has a “spell” (when she desats and her heart rate goes down). It never really had an impact on me until I witnessed her having one today. I was with her and she had a spell…her little tummy and chest just stopped moving up and down. The nurse didn’t have to give her oxygen but just had to stimulate her and then she woke up and remembered to breathe. It was the most traumatic thing I have ever had to witness. I cannot tell you how hard it is to see your baby stop breathing. Oh, the panic and horror! I was told that she will have spells and that is to be expected because a baby her gestational age does not breathe on their own inside the womb and now she’s forced to do so much more work. She occasionally forgets to breathe.
I’ve been told by the doctors, nurses and other parents of preemies that she will have ups and downs over the next few weeks and that she is doing great for her gestational age and for her size.
She’s starting to pack on some chub chub. Her legs are looking mighty chubby compared to last week and her cheeks are adorable. She looks completely different from how she looked 8 days ago. I love her little mouth. She’s got heart shaped lips. So sweet.