Okay, so maybe I’m a little bit of a freak when it comes to my daughter. I just don’t want to leave her for too long. I’m at the hospital a bit after 7AM and don’t get home until sometimes 8PM or later. Does this qualify as having attachment issues?
I just gave birth to the Little One two weeks ago and part of me feels like it never really happened. It happened so fast and then all of a sudden I was discharged from the hospital and had to commute back and forth every day to see my baby. Several people have told me that I don’t even look like I just had a baby. Funny, because I don’t even feel like I just had a baby. I never had time to process anything. I feel like I’ve been dropped in the middle of the ocean and have been forced to swim. Part of me envies moms who have “term” babies and stay in the hospital for a day or two and then get to go home with their babies. They get to be with their babies and they get to be home with their babies! Me? I get to commute to and from the hospital every day and bond with my breast pump every two hours.
Okay, I do get to spend quality time with my daughter. The nurses let me have cuddle time with her. Lately they’ve been letting me hold her for over an hour if she’s having a good day. It’s the best feeling in the world to just hold your baby and listen to all the funny noises she makes.
Oh, and the only clothes I have with me since I was on hospital bed rest for several weeks are my maternity clothes (which are now being held up by safety pins). I told Hubby that when he comes to visit us, he needs to bring my pre-pregnancy clothes (otherwise I’ll go shopping…and the Eaton Center is only a 15 min walk from the hospital)! I’ve lost 14 lbs since I delivered the Little One. I don’t know if it’s because:
A) I’ve shed some pregnancy weight
B) I’ve been running on almost no sleep
C) I haven’t had much of an appetite (Don’t worry. I am eating enough because I am pumping for the baby)
D) I’ve been pumping every 2 hrs
E) I’ve been commuting (lots of walking and running to catch the bus and subway)
F) All of the above
Speaking of attachment issues, the Little One hit another milestone, but is struggling with an attachment of her own. Not only has she received her “Official Kilo Club Membership Card” (preemies get a Kilo Club card every time they reach a kilo!), but today she moved up to full feed )14 cc of milk every 2 hrs) AND she got her IV line removed! Yay! No more IV! I hate IVs! However, she still has to wear her CPAP and she still needs her NG tube until she learns how to suck, swallow, breathe on her own. The Little One was on room air for 2 hrs but then got tired and ended up forgetting to breathe. It’s tough for a preemie to remember to breathe. They’re not supposed to have mastered that yet. The Little One still needs her CPAP. In fact, she hates it when her CPAP is off. I guess it’s sort of like a security blanket for her too. In many ways, even though it may annoy her sometimes, it’s easier for her to breathe with it.
I wasn’t expecting her to be off her CPAP and NG tube anytime soon anyway. She is 2 weeks old and was born 12 weeks premature, after all!
I learned something interesting from the doctors today. Because the Little One was born 12 weeks before her due date, she is technically not supposed to be outside of the womb yet. This means that developmentally, she is 3 months behind most “term” babies (babies born at around 40 weeks gestation + or – 2 weeks). It makes sense though, since she was supposed to do a lot of her developing inside the womb for the next 3 months. In other words, when she is 3 months old, she’ll be like a 1 month old. It really does make sense, since she’ll be playing catch up for a while. Oh, the Little One seems to like doing things early, so hopefully she’ll be okay. The docs have said she looks great so far and it doesn’t seem like she will have any problems developmentally. Everyone keeps telling me that she is a very strong little girlie and that she is tolerating feeds well and is growing nicely. She even grew in length since birth. She was 34 cm long at birth and is now 39 cm long!