April showers bring May flowers.
One would think that May would be a happy time because the temperature is beginning to warm up, the flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, and everything comes to life again in May. May used to be one of my favourite months. Now, May is a hard month for me though. It’s a time when I find myself dealing with grief.
I never knew why May was such a difficult time for me, until I realized that May 15th marks the anniversary of my grandmother’s death. May 15th, 2012 was one of the saddest days for our family. Little One and I traveled to the Philippines to spend with my grandmother, not knowing that it would be my grandmother’s final few weeks. I’m thankful to have been able to bring my then three-year old to the Philippines to be with my grandmother.
A few years have passed since my grandmother’s death, and I thought things would get easier. Every now and then, I think of her and really miss her. With Hubby’s accident on Valentine’s Day, and him still recovering, the past few months have been a bit overwhelming. I’ve been preoccupied with how the farm will go on if Hubby is not able to farm for much longer. Will we eventually have to sell the farm? Can we manage to maintain the status quo? What has to change? Will Hubby be okay? Will he heal and recover, and be able to do the things he once was able to do?
To make things a little more challenging emotionally, my beloved canine companion, Chance passed away last week (on May 12th). Chance has been by my side for nearly fourteen years. He’s been there with me through so many ups and downs in life. We’ve been through a lot together.
It’s been a rough go.
Then I remember that everyone is going through challenges of their own. People are resilient. Hearts get broken, and hearts get mended. Sad events take place in life and it’s okay to feel sad and to grieve.
Over the past few years, we’ve lost several loved ones. I’m at an age where my friends and I have grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents who are aging and who are experiencing health issues that come with aging. We’ve had quite a few loved ones who have or have had cancer. We’ve lost some loved ones to cancer. This said, the two deaths that have been hardest on Little One have been the death of my grandmother and the death of Chance.
I’ve been trying to find articles and tips on how to help my daughter with the loss of her beloved pup. Chance would always walk with Little One. He was her protector and just wanted to be with her all the time. He was such an amazing and gentle dog.
Now that I recognize why May has been a difficult month for me these past few years (and now even more so with the loss of Chance this May), I’m going to try to make May a happy month. Yes, I’m sad and my chest hurts because my heart is broken, but I’m going to make a concentrated effort to make May a time for celebrating the happy times with my grandmother and my faithful pup. Perhaps I can help Little One focus on the incredible memories, the love, and the funny moments we had with our loved ones, we can focus less on the fact that we miss them so much. It’s okay to miss them, but I’d love to help Little One remember the happy moments.
There are certainly a lot of happy moments!